I’ve been always interested in hermits, the way they viewed life, the reasons and purposes of living it their way and the things they got out of this tough lifestyle based on solitude. These thoughts developed with time into big question marks, a tempting mystery to decode but also a serious obsession hard to live with. I have not only read and searched for any little thing related to loneliness including interviewing shepherds, prisoners, truckers, expats. Most of them declared that it’s far from being cushy, the longer the harder but it still keeps that charm. Downstream, I tried hard to distract myself by spending more time with friends but all these silly endeavours bore no fruits. I came to a strong belief that it’s the very same glamour my interviewees were trying to describe, the indulgence that I couldn’t resist and the voice that called out the hermits are the same entity, better known as ” seclusion” and it’s something that I have to go for, a situation that I must experience and live, a wolf I ought to encounter.
One good thing about working abroad is that you get always couple of days off in addition to the national holidays. I got 4 days vacation and I had the sun, the wind and the rain by my side, packed my stuff and left early in the morning. The place is called “Almus”, a small county located in the Black sea region in Turkey, nameless for common Turkish but famous for Campers for the lake it has that is surrounded by green hills and mountains. I don’t know why I keep telling this but In Rome, where Latin was spoken 15 centuries ago the word Almus meant “nourishing”. So as it was snowing, I didn’t meet anyone on the way to the lake but two dogs that decided to be my company. Took me about an hour to get a strategic location, and here I am pitching my tent, hanging my hammock, setting my campfire and waiting…. Waiting for my real self out of my body.
Bless that ability to adapt to time, space and situations and damn how different are the consequences and reactions can be when we process the very same task comparably but under dissimilar circumstances. Lingering, which used to be at the top of things I hate is congenial and pleasing right there. I shut my phone, couldn’t accept any intruder or deal with any kind of interruption but also I didn’t want to know what time was it. In fact, the absence of time, is what I needed the most as it coerced the absence of two “conclusions”: you are late// you are in a hurry. While with the first m you end up regretting both what you’ve done and what you didn’t manage to achieve and what a good life is that, The second is even worse as there will be no room for a soldier’s rest, a farmer’s mini break, a doctor’s callow moment of craziness, a driver’s ” pause-cafe” …..etc there will be no room for a life.
A kenyan friend of mine once told me that we’ll always get an indemnity of what we’ve let go or lost. Back home, his people believe that good-natured ones are often redressed immediately opposite to bad souls as the angels in charge need time debating whether to repay his spirit or not. As I left comfort and “luxuries” behind those two days I got purity, peace and clarity in return. Equally, the more I pulled away from people, The deeper I plunged and the more I mingled with nature but there still were in the back of my mind some residues of the terd I’m stepping on daily, the dirt that I shouldn’t have brought to this stupendous zone and the hurdle that I must scrap and eradicate to go as high as I can.
I believe ” Think of a good moment ” is just a silly thing to say to someone dying while ” Think of what good have you done on earth” can do as it keeps one focusing on the good stuff – that even the worst guys in your neighborhood have done it in some stages of their lives- thus you are reminiscing and counting virtues not sins, you are flying not falling and diving not drowning.
I’ve never been good at describing ordinary situations and bits then how am I going to detail this outstanding instant. In Sexology, the word “photophobia” refers to the couple of seconds one reaches the ultimate gratification. During that split second, one would close his eyes tight in order to see any other thing but the image of the world he made and the portrait of happiness in person. Though my eyes were widely open that day, I managed to ogle that beauty….
Well the good thing is that the nymph is still waiting there. Don’t bother telling how long it took you to get there or how long are you going to stay, it doesn’t matter how what your ethnicity or social status is…….. Mother nature doesn’t care as long as you come in peace owing to the fact that if you don’t you will leave in pieces.
To sum up, what I’ve lived that day and what I’ve learned was worth all the time, money and energy I’ve spent searching. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to live it on a long-term basis but I’m positive that I’ll go for those stolen moments intermittently before I literally die.